Thursday 3 September 2009

He Gets Shit Done.

BANG!

You're dead, bitch.

That's right. It's me. Action Dave - The one and only.

Often imitated, never replicated.

In the flesh.

Thought your little crew did away with me in Bangladesh? WRONG!

Never send a boy to do a man's job.

And NEVER kill a man in his sleep. If he's hardcore, you won't even know the difference.

Nice touch with the ninjas though.

But even a group of deadly assassins can't beat the deadliest man on the planet.

And your little boyfriend, Darren Anger. Tried attacking attacking me on the plane to Tibet.

He's got a lot to be angry about now, what with having no legs. Or a head.

Went out of the sewage pipes with the rest of the shit.

Ha.

I've beaten Nazis. HEIL ACTION!

Wizards. ZAPP!

And even the Mythical Nog-goblins. That's right.

The only enemy I've never beaten is my crippling illiteracy...

But that doesn't matter now. Words sting, But a bullet kills!

*BANG!*

Now to stop the doomsday device and call HQ. No doubt they'll call me a maverick like always and-

-Who's there?!

Who are you, Little Girl?! Another of Syke's hitmen?!

...My... My daughter?

LIES! True, I've slept with many women, But I've been careful - I killed them all afterwards for being commnist scum!

...Paris? 1974?

...Marie.

I still don't believe you!

Test results? Give them here...

...

...

...

I CAN'T READ!

*boom*

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