And Then You Fry.

Hi there, Gary.

Uh... Who are you?

I'm the Devil. Name's Bezour.

Isn't it usually Satan?

I have many names, but Bezour is the real one. You'd be surprised what the bible got wrong.

So... I'm in hell.

Yeah, that's the short answer.

What's the long answer?

You're in the 3rd circle of hell, reserved for those who didn't meet any of their life goals.

...That's awfully spesific.

That's the whole thing with Hell. Another thing you mortals got wrong.

Hell is built upon life goals?

So is Heaven. If you meet all of your life goals, you get in.

...I don't get it.

Okay... Hm... Take Abe Lincoln, he met his goals. He became President and Freed the slaves. Those goals were kinda linked together. But they can be anything.

So even if I'd met 7 out of 8 goals, I'd still be sent here?

Well, that would have put you i the 1st circle. They have an appeal process. After serving enough time to make up for the missed goals.

...What were my goals?

Hm... Says here you were meant to set the land speed record.

Wha?! I can't even remember ever wanting to do that!

Really? It's a part of your fate, meaning it could have...

Well... I did like go-karts as a kid...

What changed?

I broke my arm when I crashed my first kart. Made it all on my own. After that I didn't want to risk it again...

Which is what lead you to study hard and eventually become the CEO of a multi-national software company.

...Yeah.

Moving on. After that you were meant to have a loving family. Wife and 3 kids.

I did have a family. But I just had 2 kids.

But it wasn't with your one true love.

...Tabitha?

Tabitha Green. Your high school sweetheart.

We only went out once!

But she enjoyed it. As did you. Why you never called her back I don't know.

Neither do I...

Then you were meant to do charity work with underpriviledged kids. Setting up some kind of inner city go-kart league.

...I never would have done that.

Me neither.

Lastly you were meant to give your son a father/son talk that would have set hm on the right track.

What would he have done?

No idea. Can't see the destiny of unborn people.

Well, what can you see?

Just that he would have wasted his life if he hadn't gotten a good talking to.

Oh...

There we go.

What?

Thats the 3rd circle. The circle of regret. And you're gonna be here forever.

God...

He can't help you.

So what now?

You sit here. You could get up and walk around. You can talk to other people in the circle. It's freedom. Do whatever you like. I've got a vietnamese woman to greet. She was meant to adopt an orphan or something.

Okay.

...

Land speed record, huh? That would been... hm.