Crap Flares.

Dena... What are you wearing?

What's wrong with this?

Well... It's a 70's party.

Yeah! I'm looking forward to it!

No... Well, lets go from top to bottom.

What do you mean?!

Well... The "Afro".

What's wrong with it?

I can see how you've tried to form it... Since your hair doesn't tend to curl, you were thinking you could make one out of a block of sponge.

Yeah! It worked!

Well, the shape is accurate... But it's the rest of it.

How so?

Well, you didn't have a block of sponge did you?

No... Just-

-Just kitchen and bathroom sponges. I can see how you tried to make a pick out of loofahs. I'll admit, that's creative.

Right?! It's pretty awesome.

Mhm... But it's all wrong. You didn't even try to spraypaint it one colour. Blue, green and yellow.

The can of paint was off... I was thinking it could be a rainbow afro.

...Right.

What else is wrong?

Well, the boobtube.

Yes?

It's meant to be fabric. Not plastic. Even if you wanted plastic, that's the late 70's, not disco era...

Semantics, semantics.

I mean, aren't you uncomfortable?

A bit. I thought that was the style.

...Beyond tights, boob curtains and afgan scarfs... you know dick about fashion, don't you?

Not really. But At least I tried...

Are you okay?

No... Up until now, I was coping with the flares.

...I'll call an ambulance.