He came like a bolt from the blue!
NINNYHAMMER.
Women wanted him. Men wanted to be him. Some oddball women wanted to be him, and some rather fruity men wanted him.
NINNYHAMMER.
Armed with nothing beyond his mighty "Helftling" hammer, a badger loincloth, a tri-horn helmet and leather armour made from the skin of men who wanted to be him.
NINNYHAMMER.
His adventures are legendary, though no-one really knows how they came to know the stories of his adventures.
NINNYHAMMER.
Like the story of his battle with the Darkling lord of Ghosnonine - 2 out of 3 in dorf throwing... AND CATCHING.
NINNYHAMMER.
And the legend of his heated conversation and subsequent lawsuit against the dragon, Kash-hacrah, over the property boundries between their homes.
NINNYHAMMER.
And who can forget the trial of the weaponmasters of Cradgrand, who disarmed the mighty NINNYHAMMER and forced him to fight a slew of monsters, before fighting one of them to get his own weapon back?
NINNYHAMMER.
...Okay, that last one didn't happen.
NINNYHAMMER.
To be honest, he kind of sucks as a barbarian hero.
NINNYHAMMER.
Bit of a twat actually... Went out with my sister.
NINNYHAMMER.
He made her do anal.
NINNYHAMMER.
He broke her pelvis! She's stuck in a wheelchair!
NINNYHAMMER.
Whatever happened to Conan? He was a real hero.
NINNYHAMMER.
His hammer is an anvil tied to a tree! What's so mystical about that?!
NINNYHAMMER.
He's a homophobic mysogynist!
NINNYHAMMER.
YOU CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I HATE HIM!
...
...
...
NINNYHAMMER.
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