Meanwhile... At the Legion of Evil Body Parts.

I feel like shit.

I feel like absolute shit.

Both in mind and body.

In body. I know I've eaten a lot of different food in my life, but I should have known the taste of "off shrimp". It was slimy, the whole dish. All I got from it was the taste hidden behind the rot, my tongue wanted me to suffer. Not just me, my intestines, my bowels and my anus. My tongue is in league with the legion of evil body parts - Along with the part of my brain that makes me say stupid shit to women, my left nut, and my sinuses.

One more part and there'll be a revolution.

Anyway, I now feel like a cannon. One of those old civil war era cannons, the ones with the sound and thunder, as well as the boom. My stomach won't stop rumbling. My farts stink like a dead chicken, a long dead chicken. The pain is unfathomable. It's given me a headache.

The irony? I can't "Get rid of the problem", if you see what I mean. Nothing comes out. I think the LoEP has blackmailed my bowels... They must be punished.

As for mind? I'm not talking about the poop-headache. I did something stupid. Call it the throes of pain, or just my own personal human nature. Man, the gender, does a lot of stupid things. I've now telegraphed the problem, I guess. Love is the key.

I SAID something stupid, I'll just clarify that. I said something stupid to a person I love very much. She just didn't know that.

In fact, I said SEVERAL stupid things. Mostly to her, but one to my boss. It was a nightmare.

Okay, so first, my boss. Everyone HATES their boss. Deep down, past any kind of awkward attraction, be it male or female. Past the things you have in common with them. Even past the odd little in-jokes you, and most likely all of your co-workers, share with the boss. Deep down, you hate them, HATE THEM RAW.

My hate just... Came out. He was riding me about a report I forgot to file the night before - It wasn't urgent, and I remembered and did it the next day. But that wasn't enough for him, the ass. He started yelling at me, cussing too. He even breached company policy and outright called me a "Dumb Motherfucker". That was the last straw, really.

So I punched him out.

Well, not just that. I took him out of his chair, and THEN punched him out. Multiple times. In the face. And groin. It felt good.

I was fired, but damn if it wasn't liberating. I'm now awaiting an assault charge. That's what sucks.

And now, as for "Her.".

She's perfect. She laughs at all my jokes. She's into what I'm into. And she's smoking hot.

So, if we're so perfect together, what could I have possibly done to fuck it up?

3 simple words.

I love you.

Now she won't even talk to me.

That's the real kicker. Not even a no. Just dead air.

That's worse than the bowel pain.

Almost.