E' gas s'em

My boy... My beautiful boy.

Grandpa...

Don't be sad for me boy, I'm fine.

But...

No buts. You're a smart boy. I'm so very proud of you. Your mother and father would have been so too. I've been proud to take care of you for all of these years. So very proud. You were a little Hellraiser! Full of it! You remember the time you turned the dining room into a fort? Oh... How you cried when we made you put it back as it was...

I remember... I remember you building me another outside, out of the old wood and garden furniture... It was the middle of November!

Ah... But you still played in it...

Yes... And you caught the flu.

Flu, Schmu... It was worth it to see you smile.

...Gran-

You know... All I've been able to do here... Is think.

I know...

Remembering the good times, and the bad. It's amazing how much we do in our lives... And how much is done to us...

You mean...

Yes. I was one of the lucky ones. So many of our people were lost to the war... But...

Grandpa?

My boy... There is something... Whether I didn't remember, or chose not to, or... There is something you should know...

What?

In that place... we were a desperate people. When we weren't working, we were dreaming of freedom. I know that sounds too much of a generalisation, or just plain-

Shh... go on. I know.

You don't, that's the point... And I'm so happy you don't. All I can tell you is my part in the story.

Of course.

I was a rock mover. I moved rocks. Not much else to the job description... I moved them from one pile to another. They worked us to the bone, made us weak. Either you worked, or you died. Those that snapped, died anyway. Sick? Dead. These was no happy medium, only the darkest shade of shadow. We used to talk as we worked, just to keep each other sane. I was in there with...

Hm?

I don't remember his name... It was earthy... Had a real hock to it. used to have to spit every time I said his name... Well, the sweat did that too... Anyway, he and I used to dream of being on the other side of the fence. He was a scholar, he knew a lot of things. He'd been a student of some really strange men... Makes Genesis P.Orridge look like liberal.

Who's...

Never mind... He was a strange man, a man of the earth, but rejected it. He resented the work the guards made him do. He was always talking about what we'd do when we got out, like he knew it was coming... I used to stifle my laughter. He warned me "Miky!" That's what he used to call me. "Miky, you have to be ready! I'm going to get out of here!". I used to play him off and get him back to work... We weren't being made to talk... He was a strange one.

Did you meet after you got out?

No...

Why not? I thought a lot of survivors-

A lot of us? There weren't as many as they tell you. And we never wanted to meet to discuss the old days.  Anyway... If I couldn't remember, I never would have taken to the idea. 

Ah.

I'll skip ahead... We were there a while. That and... there isn't much all to say. It was monotony. Torture without the violence.

There was violence. I know that much.

A lot of it occurred behind closed doors. Not saying it all did... I've seen my fair share of men fall into the dirt...

I'm sorry.

Never apologise for something you weren't alive for.

Well, I'll be sorry for that...

Heh. My boy, never compromise yourself for others... It leads into dark areas. We did something in that man-made Hell. Something dark.

What?

We sold ourselves... Parts of ourselves...

For what?

Freedom.

How?

We compromised our beliefs. 

I don't-

We made a deal. In exchange for what we loved, we were given an out. A free pass from Hell.

Who did you deal with?

A terrible power.

The guards? Commanders?

...No...

Then-

You have to understand, I'm not a bad man. I'm... We were desperate. We needed an out. I was close to the break, we all were...

You're not making any sense.

No... But matters of devilry and pact never make sense.

Devilry?

We sold ourselves to the Tulpa.

Wha-

It was... Like a Golem. You remember that story?

My favourite... 

Yes... It did as we asked... But it was pure blackness and bloody earth. There was no servitude, just platitude and the sharp, biting fingers as he pointed to us... He told us we would have our wish... For a price. there always is. For anything. 

Jesus...

Don't... Ah, you're a big man. Talk as you like...

What did you give?

One of us gave his legs. He was an athlete, almost made it to the Olympics... The one the Fuhrer was at... Another gave her soul... One gave his heart and soul... My friend? He gave his mind, thinking he couldn't make him an idiot...

What did you-

the athlete had his legs blown away by the guns, in the smoke and chaos. Gone. Bloody stumps. But he lived... The deal was set.

The others?

The lady, Miriam... I think. She went to Paris... Fell in love, and became a dancer... But her eyes were dead... Even back then. I don't think that ever changed, even when she lived her dreams.

How do you know that?

She had the look... She was one of the "Special Projects"... She was just a child...

No... How do you know about Paris?

I have my ways... The other who promised his heart and soul... Well, he became a very rich man... But lost it to a younger woman... Murder, some said...

And your friend?

He was... He was admitted to an asylum as soon as we were rescued. Shellshock, survivours guilt, whatever the doctors could throw at him... Never saw him again...

...You haven't said what you gave.

...Your father was a strapping man...

No...

I never intended to fall in love... But it happened... I forgot when I held him in my arms... The Tulpa didn't...

Please, no...

The car... no-one knew how it came to fly off of the road... But I knew, like a flash of infamy. 

For... No.

It was a miracle you survived. An angel must have been watching you... And with you, I had my chance at redemption.

Is that all I was? Redemption? The last chance of a desperate man?!

We were all desperate... And I never compromised my ideals. Never again.

...I... I can't be here...

No... you're right. Go. Be happy... I deserve this... All of this.

...

I feel you... Mnmezzer.

*Growl*

I know... But he had a right to know...

*Laughter*

I know... Take me... I deserve it all...